And then I sprayed coffee all over my computer screen

Scene: There I was. Minding my own business yesterday (I've been dying to get this posted). Working my ass off. And I thought I'd take a little twitter break. So I did.

And what do I find?

Hm. I'm intrigued. Why yes, someecards. I will check that out. Don't mind if I do.

Well that seems a little rude. Twitter hatred spews from all portals! Bethenny was hating on my girl Rachel (INAPPROPRIATE) and now this? Who is this person? Wonder what else this lovely lady has to say.

Oh. No. She. Didn't.

And that's when I sprayed coffee all over my computer screen.

I'm almost tempted to follow this woman. She's got to have more pearls of wisdom up her sleeve.

Let's discuss

1. I really, really am seriously jealous of all of you who are currently at Blogher and I'm not. I eagerly await each and every one of your Twitter updates and Blogher wrap-up posts. And I also kind of want to hit you. But just a little bit.
   
   
2. Because I was not at Blogher today, I decided that I was not going to be productive at all as far as work was concerned. Items accomplished today: painted nails, read OK! magazine, cleaned out my Google Reader, caught up on personal emails, watched the New Moon trailer as well as sneak peeks filmed at ComicCon and drank 5 cups of coffee. I also helped jcristg find a new purse and mourned the fact that The Pioneer Woman is at Blogher and we are not.
   
   
3. I ordered this watch the other day. It has been "out for delivery" since 6:50AM. Where the hell is it?!
   
   
4. If my watch isn't delivered today. I'm going to get one of these.
   
   
5. WHAT KIND OF FREAK DOES THAT TO THEMSELVES???
   
   
6. I went to my grandparents' house for dinner last night. What you don't want to hear from your grandfather as soon as you walk in the door: "What have you been up to other than eating?" (I AM NOT asking for compliments here, so don't give me any. I just want you to think the same thing I am: REALLY? REALLY, PAPA?) Anyone else have experience with their grandparents losing their filters???
   
   
7. I bought some of these notebooks the other day from Target and I really, really like them. You should buy them too.
   
   
8. HAPPY WEEKEND!!!!!

GET OVER IT

That's right, people. I did it. I survived. Don't worry - I'm just as surprised as you are. The motivation for my running in the bridge run? Good old fashioned irritation. That's right. Piss me off and I'll do exactly what you allege I cannot. Or should not. At first I thought about registering for this year's bridge run because I have tried on several past occasions and just haven't done it, either due to injury or scheduling conflicts, or last year's " Hm, I think I'd rather go out and party at the 'I slept through the bridge run' parties. Thanks anyway." So this year I started thinking that I would do it. And then someone related to me, I'll not name names, made a comment something akin to "WHAT?????????" And that's all it took. Mind you, I did not train AT ALL, but I'll be damned , I was not going to let someone with that kind of response be proven right. And so I did it. SO THERE. HA.

And lo! There is proof! Part of me wants to email this to her:
But instead - I think I'll wait to order the picture of me crossing the finish line. Only wish I had thought to shoot the camera the bird. Oh well, I guess hindsight IS 20/20.

Also - you should know that while my time is not the fastest, I did run about 3 miles of the LONGEST 10K EVER. My running more than 1 mile is UNHEARD of. I can credit at least 1 mile of the 3 to some jackass that kept running up until he was about 10 feet infront of me and would then run backwards while looking for his girlfriend/wife. It was BEYOND IRRITATING. If you are worried about where she is - SLOW YOUR ROLL AND RUN WITH HER YOU ASSHAT. So in order to get away from him, I sped up. And considered tripping him in the process. My roommate, needless to say, was incredibly entertained.

SO the lesson for today? If you want me to do something, tell me I can't. Or just piss me off.

xo

"I suffer from rage blackouts"

I'm sure you are all familiar with the oft-cited statistic that suicide rates spike betweeen Thanksgiving and New Year's Eve. Isn't it even in When Harry Met Sally? I have a new theory. I firmly believe that this statistic is incorrect.

It is my opinion, that what really happens looks a little something like this:

A person (for these purposes, let's call her "idiot driver") pulls out in front of a stressed out 25-year-old (let's call her "Dots") and slams on her breaks, and then continues to drive 10 miles under the speed limit in the left lane. Idiot driver then continually stops and puts on her blinker, attempts to turn, and then changes her mind. TEN TIMES. Dots has an anuerism, gets out of her car, trips and accidentally strangles idiot driver. Policeman takes pity on Dots, who is merely trying to run Christmas-errands during her lunch hour and labels the strangling a suicide.

So really all of these "suicides" are actually just accidental homicides.

Or is Dots the only one with holiday road rage?

Something to contemplate.

And now I must go to a holiday happy hour. It's a hard life, but someone has to live it.