Sent: Wednesday, July 08, 2009 9:10 AM
To: Green is the New Dots; Taysaywhat
did anyone see the new, HUGE spider by where the other two are? it was crouched in the corner and i am not kidding i thought it was a brown baby frog or something. it is the HUGEST spider i have ever seen except for those banana spiders.
Taysaywhat: On the front porch????
kungfuvonny: yes!!! all crouched up like in the corner between the side wall and the wall the door is on. i'm not kidding, it's so huge i didn't even know what to do so i started nervously giggling.
Taysaywhat: dead curled up? how did i miss that? it's going to have to be shooed away. and by shooed i meant SHOED. By the Dots.
kungfuvonny: NO, ALIVE. crouched in ready position. maybe it will be gone. i'm hoping i was hallucinating.
Taysaywhat: why didn't you Twit pic? Are you sure it didn't get in the house?
kungfuvonny: i am sure that it was still outside when i left. and honestly, it's like a wild animal. i don't know if it could survive indoors where it can't hunt large rodents.
Green is the New Dots: i did not notice this king of the spiders. should i make a special trip home at lunch to check it out and end it's rodent-hunting life? though i have to remind you - spiders kill other bugs. perhaps this is a special palmetto bug eating spider and we should let it live in a life of luxury?
Spray Spidey with cockroach spray.
Spidey jumps to the ground splaying out his legs. Diameter of Spidey with legs stretched=3.5-4 inches (I'M NOT KIDDING) (cue kungfuvonny's shriek)
Smash Spidey to pieces with Jack Rogers sandal and throw him away in the herby curby.
VICTORY IS MINE.
Hopefully Spidey's spouse/mother will not come find me and avenge his death.
For those of you concerned, Rita and Rob are still hanging on and going strong. They were not harmed in the massacre of the king-crab-looking, prehistoric Spidey.
UPDATE: Rob has since bitten the dust. He is most likely a victim of the back blast of the cockroach spray used to debilitate Spidey. RIP Rob. Rita will miss you. And looks seriously pissed.